Welcome to the F****** Show Kid

Getting that first call to the Bigs is always one of life’s great moments, you just have to hope James Wood isn’t an asshole.

Let’s talk about it

Braves 2nd Ranked Prospect JR Ritchie made his debut on Thursday and let’s just say he got his “Welcome to the Show” moment right quick

Well, that is a little less than ideal. But I’m pretty sure he’ll be able to flush it considering he would go on to shove it up the Nats ass to the tune of 7 IP, 2 ER, and 7 Punchies en route to his first career W.

The Braves even gave him credit for this real mouthful of a franchise first

Behind him the Braves notched 14 hits — three Braves had 3 hits on the day — and Albies notched his 5th HR of the day.

On the flip side this Nationals team continues to be the James Wood and CJ Abrams show as they launched their 10th and 7th HR of the show respectively

(Side note, Carlos Carrasco finished this game on the bump?? That guy is still going? Hilarious)

We had some incredible finishes for a small slate Thursday and this one was certainly the most cluster fuck of them all.

These teams were both streaking, as the Phils were losers of 8 straight, and the Cubs winners of the same (8 straight).

It was billed as a certified Pitchers duel — Cristopher Sanchez (1.59 ERA entering the game) vs Edward Cabrera (2.38 ERA coming in) — but ended anything but.

The starters were tagged for 11 combined runs, and each allowed 2 HR

The man of the hour for Philly was Brandon Marsh, who hit BOTH of the first HRs of the season against Edward Cabrera

Happ and Busch each got Sanchez

The drama began in the 7th as Marsh struck his 2nd HR of the game to chase Cabrera, where the Phils scored 3 to make it 6-5, and then in the 8th the Phils got to Hoby Milner to tie the ball game

Unfortunately Brad Keller immediately let up a MISSILE to Seiya Suzuki, his 3rd straight game with a HR

And the Phillies would then answer the bell as Adolis Garcia hit a pinch hit HR to send us to extras (Caleb Thielbar left with a hamstring injury after blowing the Save)

But then disaster struck to the Phils faithful when Dansby Swanson delivered a W for the Ass Man (Javier Assad) to give the Cubs a 9 game winning streak… and the Phils extend the longest losing streak in baseball as well

It isn’t all bad Phils fans, at least you released Taijuan Walker today?

Look I’m not saying I called Tarik Skubal’s downfall but it continued on Thursday as he got tagged for 4 Runs in 6 Innings and only struck out 5.

So surely the Brewers took advantage of the Tigers’ ace scuffling in the 7th?

Well, Spencer Torkelson had something to say about that

But I wanted to also quickly shout out the Kraken. I’ve been POSITIVE that man will fall off soon and he just refuses to!

2 more hits and another RBI later and he has an OPS of .973. Crazy stuff from El Gary (Sanchez)

Oh Rockies. The 7th best bullpen ERA in the sport let them down today as they blew an 8-5 lead in the 9th

This comeback keeps the Padres in a tie for the lead in the NL West with the Dodgers at 17-8.

Obligatory Langs:

But while I am taking a deeper dive on this one, I want to offer a small fantasy sleeper. Troy Johnston had 3 more hits today to raise his batting average to .325 and added 2 RBI as well. He has an interesting profile that doesn’t scream regression and actually has me thinking he can maintain some of this level of success

There was a perfect sports-equinox adjacent moment for New Yorkers that almost sent the 5 Burroughs into a collective catatonic state.

The Knicks blew their game to the Hawks, the Jets drafted a Tight End with the 16th Pick, and then Huascar Brazoban served up this fat meatball hoagie to Ryan Jeffers

I think I felt the apoplectic gasps of every single person in the Tri-State area on that one.

But not to be outdone, Anthony Banda decided to suffer a near equivalent breakdown on the bump

Then despite the Air-Bender Devin Williams’ best efforts (10.29 ERA) the Mets locked up their 2nd win of the week and leave the Phillies behind as the sole owners of the worst record in baseball

Do I sense some tension? We almost had a little bit of a tiff in the Bay as the Dodgers looked to avoid the Sweep at the hands of Tony V’s boys.

It actually all started back on Tuesday, when rookie sensation Dalton Rushing had some… comments for Jung Hoo Lee

So fast forward to the 6th, with the game slightly out of reach (3-0… that’s A LOT for this Giants team) and Logan Webb decided to expense some old fashioned justice

To which Dalton Rushing seemingly took some exception as he tries to take out Willy Adames

I look forward to when these two meet again, because we could have some fireworks on the way

Drama aside, Tyler Glasnow might be BACK back, as he threw 8 Innings of shutout, 1 hit baseball. It is only the Giants, but it’s nice seeing Glass back to his old ways (being GROSS)

Not a ton happened in this game, but I wanted to take a second to shout out Sox starter Davis Martin.

After going 6.1 IP, 1 ER with 7 strikeouts in the Southside’s win over the Snakes, Martin is now holding onto a 2.01 ERA over 31.1 Innings. He has been spectacular thus far.

Do I know how he’s doing it? Absolutely not

Maybe the key to this whole pitching thing really is just not to walk anybody. Who knew?

It really just goes from bad to worse for this Red Sox team, they’ve now been swept by the Yankees and fall to 3-7 in their last 10 games.

They wasted an excellent start from Peyton Tolle (6 IP, 11K, 1 ER — 1.50 ERA on the season) but they ran into the Cam Schlittler buzz saw (8 IP, 5K, 4H — 1.77 ERA)

The Yankees are clicking on all cylinders now and even Jazz Chisholm has finally joined the party and hit his first home run of the year (we will count it even if it was an absolute Mickey Mouse dinger)

Speaking of little league nonsense, enter Evan Carter — the Pirates super villain of the week

But the bigger story of the day was the teacher humbling the students

Grizzled vet Jacob de Grom (2.13 ERA) was his vintage masterful self throwing 5.2 Innings of 1 ER ball and punched out TEN Buccos, as he humbled rookie Konner Griffin (0-4 2K) and body bagged his opposing starter, young Bubba Chandler (4 IP, 6 ER, 7 H, 3 BB)

The Pirates start a week straight of division matchups so hopefully Oneil Cruz keeps doing Oneil Cruz things (good version please)

Have a great day everybody, there might be a small weekend hiatus with the NFL draft in Pittsburgh.. TBD