It’s no surprise that the talk of the baseball world is the new Automatic Ball/Strike (ABS) Challenge system. For the uninitiated, this new mechanic being used at the MLB level for the first time is simple: you get to call bullshit on the home plate umpire at least twice per game. And for each time you are correct, you get an additional opportunity to embarrass a card holding AARP member in front of tens of thousands of people — if not the entire internet.

Long have we been at the mercy of these egomaniacs, unable to do anything about it when these men with unchecked power completely screw over our favorite teams.

BUT NO LONGER. WE ARE TAKING THE POWER BACK.

And boy has it been sweet thus far. Whether it is Salvador Perez going 3 for 3 in the Royals opener or Randy Arozarena knowing he was right and taking his walk early — the players are getting their licks in here in the first weekend of the season.

But the best yet happened on Saturday, when Eugenio Suarez put on a CLINIC right in CB Bucknor’s grill.

CB is pretty widely known as one of baseball’s worst home plate umpires. And he did nothing to dissuade that notion, as he was challenged eight times in the Boston/Cincinnati contest. He lost six of those, including the above — and frankly it should have been a lot more.

But it didn’t stop there! Trevor Story was wrung up on a check swing, strike three call — which lead to the ejection of Red Sox manager Alex Cora — all without affording the Sox Shortstop an appeal to the first base umpire.

There are few people in baseball who need their comeuppance more than CB, and it’s going to be one of the best storylines of the season watching him continuously be humiliated on the national stage for his ineptitude.

Roll the tape

Carlos Estevez is in trouble. The two time All-Star Royals closer, fresh off serving up this meatball walk off Home Run to Dom Smith, has been drawing the concerns of Royals fans and media alike this spring.

The concerns first popped up during Spring Training, when Estevez was routinely throwing his fastball in the HIGH 80’s. Of course the Royals brass attempted to downplay those concerns, but clearly there is something very wrong in KC.

Last season Esetevez was sitting around 96 MPH on his fastball while leading Major League Baseball with 42 Saves across 67 appearances, with a respectable 2.45 ERA en-route to his 2nd All Star game.

Early returns this season have Estevez sitting just 91.2 MPH, a nearly 5 MPH drop from last year. Some Stuff+ models now have the pitch graded as a well-below league average offering and among the bottom 5 for any closer across the sport in the short 2026 sample.

If Esetevez doesn’t find his fastball soon (pun intended) he could soon be coughing up the closers role to Lucas Erceg.

You wouldn’t know it by the picture of the homeless man before his free haircut on the side of a major road, but that is actually Dylan Cease — fresh off his signing of a 7-year $210 Million contract this offseason with the Toronto Blue Jays.

(jokes aside donate to Light of Life)

And while he may not look like his old self he sure is pitching like him — perhaps even better.

On Saturday Cease carved up the Athletics on Saturday, posting 5.1 IP with 12 K’s to 2 BB’s and only 1 ER on 3 hits. He was not the pitcher of record however, as the Jays won 8-7 in 11 innings.

The highlight of Cease’s day was striking out 7 consecutive A’s batters:

There were concerns with the Jays committing so much money over a long term deal to a pitcher coming off a 4.55 ERA season with San Diego, but Cease put an end to those fears quickly — shutting down a potent and underrated A’s lineup.

Cease currently sits at 20-1 to win the AL Cy Young.

Mike Trout continued his early resurgence going 1-3 with 2 BB, 2 Runs, and an RBI in Saturday’s 11-9 loss to the Astros, and it has left some to wonder if he found the literal fountain of youth this offseason… and bought stock in it?

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Reese McGuire might want to figure his shit out, or else he’ll soon find himself back “sleeping” in his car in a strip mall parking lot

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Tony Vitello continues to speed run the “Put-Foot-In-Mouth” challenge

Dude! Just stop talking! Buster Posey must be kicking himself for hiring the college coach right about now

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I’ve been pretty mean today… have a good day guys <3