
Ask Me About my Wiemer
We here at the South Harmon Institute of Technology Cup of Coffee are big fans of looking out for the little guy. Standing up for the weird kids. And most of all good puns.
If you were asked who in the National League would win the MVP if the season ended today, it would not be wrong to say Joey Wiemer was the most deserving.
After tying Carlos Delgado’s record for most consecutive times reaching base safely to start the season at 10, Wiemer has firmly stamped himself into the mix for a full time role in the Washington Nationals lineup (I understand that this is not the highest bar)
Through the end of Monday, Wiemer is 8 for 10, with 2 Ding Dongs, 5 Runs, 4 RBI, and 3 free passes. I think I speak for everyone when I say: I hope this dude can keep it up. Being DFA’d multiple times and turning into an unlikely star would be so fun for the sport, and great for our boy Joey. I’m rooting for him

That's a lot of thigh, Joey.
Hell yeah

NSFW: Red Sox Offseason
No this isn’t another Reese McGuire joke.
Unfortunately for Red Sox fan, this is a indictment of the early returns of the Boston off-season acquisition class.
That is… not what you want to see. On Monday, Suarez and Oviedo piggy backed each other, combining to throw 8 Innings while surrendering 8 Earned Runs on 13 Hits, with 2 Walks to only 6 punchies — as the Red Sox lost in Houston 8-1.
Not even mentioned above is the solid start to Alex Bregman’s Cubs tenure. After the Sox let the veteran, World Series Champ third baseman walk to Wrigleyville for a massive 5x$175M deal — Bregman has a .904 OPS with 2 HR in the early goings for the Cubs. Meanwhile Red Sox 3B have combined to start 0-15 through 4 games.
NSFW indeed.

FURRIES
For those not in the know, Andrew McCutchen LOVES furries.
Maybe slight misinformation but the stats don’t lie. Through the 2023 season when Anthro-con — the Furry Convention — was in Pittsburgh, McCutchen was a .392 hitter with 4 Home Runs and a Slugging Percentage over .700
This became such a cultural phenomenon it was even featured on an episode of The Pitt — An HBO show set in a Pittsburgh area hospital

While Cutch has since moved on to the Texas Rangers, and a few hiccups in his final years in Pittsburgh during the Furry convention, It has come to my attention that he picked up where he left off a few years back — because Anthro-Con DALLAS is currently going on. Coincidence that McCutchen hit is first Rangers homer during the convention? I think not.

Odds and Ends
The spirit of NSFW is things you really don’t want to see. And topping that list tonight is Cody Ponce exiting on a stretcher midway through his first start since returning to Major League Baseball after a few seasons in the KBO
Thankfully there is some speculation that this isn’t as serious as it looks, and there are hopes it was merely a hyperextension or sprain of some kinds. Let’s hope that’s true
—
The Pirates offense is absolutely in the NSFW category after getting shut out by the Reds 2-0 on Monday.
For reasons opposite of the Red Sox, it is quite literally ONLY their acquisitions keeping this offense alive
And things are going so poorly that even Pirates Beat Writer Kevin Gorman is resorting to cuckoldry on his main Twitter page (sparing you the full frank and beans here)

The scaries are HIGH in the Burgh right now.
—
And finally in the NSFW/Horny Edition
I am MOVED by Mike Soroka’s immaculate inning. Watch here:
Have a great day everybody